Tag Archives: sex


IMG_1929 (3)

I do believe there is nothing quite as sobering as having someone you love tell you they were diagnosed with cancer.  But, for me, she is not simply a loved one.  I don’t let a lot of people in.  I thrive in extremes, so I either uphold a person as someone of incredible value to my life, or someone that can pass through aimlessly as they please.  Of course, with the latter, I don’t give much care or consideration but ample freedom and an available ear.  I struggle to manage the intense responsibility I feel for the people I love, so I limit whom I give it to.  I have been disappointed too many times at people’s lack of integrity, that I keep most people at arm’s length.  They say that love is an infinite resource, and although I would love to agree, I cannot.  Personally, my love is finite.  My heart is a capsule with only so much room.  I divide it amongst the few people I would die for and I love them with reckless abandon.  She’s one of them.  She’s a warm, soft cashmere.  She’s a radiant light in a world full of dim, flitting embers.  She’s strong as oak; yet, presently a trembling leaf holding to the branch with but a thin stem.  I can’t protect her.  My loyalty can’t make this better.  My steadfast dedication can’t shield the cold zephyr of the shadow at her back.  I can’t do a fucking thing but watch her fear and watch her fight.  I feel like a rabid dog on a leash with nothing to attack but an apparition, a crazed bitch barking at the air.  He’s holding my leash and keeping me steady, tethered as I bark tirelessly.  Tethered to my greatest source of strength.  Tethered to my beloved.

The largest portion of my heart belongs to him.  He is my King, and I am forever the warrior at his side.  If I lose him, I die.  There is no in-between.  No survival.  No desire.  No life.  Not because I can’t survive, but because I won’t want to.  She held the other spot of the greatest value and some fucking ghost permeated my defenses and is threatening one of my two greatest allies.  Powerless, a resonating message keeps repeating itself in my head:

Time is dwindling down your army, warrior.  Time is an impossible weapon to fight.

I’m grasping for resources and there he is, at my side.  My battle tested right-hand man.  My life’s purpose.  He’s here, and at least as we watch each other age, I see nothing but beauty in it.  We have our spears in hand, and with each kiss we thrust forward, piercing through fear’s frail skin.  I have you, I have all I need.

In the darkness of our room late last night, you pressed your lips to mine.  The full, softness of them comforting a beaten soul, a tepid cloth to the wound.  I pulled you on top of me and wrapped my arms and legs around your body like a cocoon to the moth.  Entering my body, my embrace pressing you as close to my flesh as materially possible.  My body’s feeble attempt to physically convey my undying dedication to loving you, protecting you.  As if acknowledging that I cannot fix her, but I can block anything from getting to you.  My love a forcefield from all the specters that threaten you.

Get me first.  Here I am, you fucking phantom!  You got one; but, you let him be! Phantom, get at me!

And I held you there within me, gently rocking my hips into you, running my hands up and down the muscular terrain of your back, flooding pleasure over the pain affecting both of our hearts.  The breath of your life upon the nape of my neck to the pattern of our swaying bodies.  Your breath permeating the very thickness of my skin, you breathe life into me.  In turn, I dedicate my life to you.  I give my body to you.  I’ve handed over my very soul countless times.  Here I am again, offering you all that I have.  You always want me.  You want me even when I’m broken.  I am forever yours.  Yours after time claims all my pieces.  Placing my body over yours, it will need to get through me first.  Yours before and after my final battle with the wraith.

Turkey and Misogyny


I woke up this Thanksgiving morning to a hard cock parting my plush rounded ass cheeks.  As the length of him submerged between them, he trailed the head of his cock through my velvet flesh, parting my pink pussy lips with the thickness of him.  His cock immediately slicked with his cum trickling from inside of me where he released hours before.  Reaching around my body, he took his thick, calloused hand and wrapped it around my neck, squeezing.  His vascular forearm nestled between my ample breasts, pulling my body into his as he thrusts his solid cock inside of me.  His thrust forces the concoction of our cum to trail down his length and pool around the base of his shaft.  I feel his coarse body hair against my back and his thick beard brushing the back of my neck. His breath is heavy, and his moans are deliciously low, a primal rumble from deep inside his chest. I could swear I absorb every drop of his masculinity through all of my senses, permeating the very pores of my skin.

I get high off of his masculinity, the opposite that makes me whole.  In nearly every moment of the day, I am reminded about how grateful I am to have a man who fearlessly embraces his masculinity, and not in a way that mainstream society would find acceptable.  My man is a devout believer in patriarchy and as ironic as it sounds, a loving misogynist.  Although this may not work for many women in today’s society, I thrive off of his belief in being superior to me in most ways.  I am not his equal, a belief we both share, and that belief is in no way a threat to me or my sense of self.  Conversely, his embracing his masculinity apart and separate from the feminine is exactly what heightens my sense of femininity in myself.  You see, my personal belief is that a man that embraces feminism, or routinely touts gender equality, is simultaneously diminishing his own masculinity.  I appreciate the more traditional aspects of how relationships and marriage used to be.  Men are being demonized daily; meanwhile, many women are sitting back, spectating or even supporting such movements whilst chanting, “We don’t need a man!”

Well, I do.

I don’t just want my man. I mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically and in every way imaginable NEED my man.  He is the counterpart to my greatest attributes, ones in which he cannot embody nor desires to embody.  I am the perfect counterpart to his greatest attributes, ones in which I cannot and do not wish to embody.  By embracing our inequality we cultivate a organic equilibrium within our bond.  Power struggles do not find life in our home.  My husband and I do not fight over who gets to wear the pants.  He does.  Give me the dress and heels.  I want absolutely nothing to do with those pants; I couldn’t possibly fill them as perfectly as he does, and thus, suit him so much better than they ever could me.

I feel the modern day woman is doing a disservice to both themselves and men that women will soon (if they are not already) live to regret.  For every time a woman chants, “I don’t need a man”, are they not also acknowledging that men don’t need THEM?  As women preoccupy themselves with raising fists in opposition of the patriarchy, how could men not begin to disassociate themselves from women?  Why would a man choose the limp embrace of a woman who (admittedly) doesn’t need him, when he could find comfort in the arms of a woman who does?  Why would a man appreciate and value a woman for her femininity if he is not validated, acknowledged, and respected for what makes him naturally different?  In modern day, heterosexual relationships*, our quests for equality is perpetuating a divide between the couple and dissolves intimacy.  Viewing themselves as “equal” does not guarantee a more fair, loving, and nurturing relationship; On the contrary, by not embracing what makes us so beautifully different and complementary, we are neglecting the validation of such admirable qualities in our partner.  Sameness is boring.  While equality may be seen as more “fair”, it certainly is not more balanced.  The balance exists when two people can accept where their partner far surpasses their capabilities, is acknowledged for those gifts, and by association, acknowledges the converse of such gifts in their partner.

This morning, as my glorious husband pushed his thick cock inside of my tight pussy, two uniquely different bodies were made whole.  His strong, masculine body pressed against the smooth, healthy, feminine shape of mine leaves me in revere of our differences.  His grasp leaves me feeling secure and safe.  He would risk his life for me and I dedicate mine to his.  I admire him, and in such admiration, I find him to be my BETTER half.  I do not see him as my equal and I am grateful for my position.  In my position I am treasured, taken care of, and admired in a way that no “strong, independent” woman could be.  Yes, I absolutely need my man.

Now, I’m going to go bake a cake in all my domestic goddess femininity and enjoy him devouring my “cake” later.

*I emphasize this because I have no knowledge or personal experience to reflect upon any other kind of relationship; thus, have no business making assumptions about them.

Feminist Facade

Feminist? Not me.

I don’t want equality.

I don’t want you to feel like you must fight me for a position of authority in our relationship.  That you must assert yourself in the face of my emotional whims.  I don’t want you to feel like we both have something to prove, and your assertion of such points must trump mine.  I desire not to corner you, belligerently belittling your spirit for my personal validation.  To feel power over a threat, merely a phantom.  To place you ahead does not render me last.

There are no wars for power here.

I view myself not as beneath you, but beside you. Albeit, preferring a view from slightly behind the curve of your muscular shoulder, the force of your strength leading me forward with each step.  You guide me.  You lead me.  I have no desire to be directly beside you.  I love you in the lead.  Forever keeping in step with you, with eyes alert to awaiting obstacles.  We will traverse them with relative ease made of a balance found between two uniquely different, naturally complementary, forces.

When I’m on my knees before you, I don’t feel devalued; rather, I feel elevated beyond the physical position of my body.  I feel larger than life and greater than the sum of my parts.  With the downward caress of your strong hand through my hair, I am elevated in my service to you.  Your eyes cast downward, connecting with mine, render me gracious for your presence.  Gracious for your presence that is not only physical, but emotional; not simply loving, but loyal to the conservancy of my being.  For your downcast gaze is hardly one of degradation, but admiration.

A very strong and capable woman, indeed.  But, I need not prove to you my independence by forgoing my desire to serve you well.  I need not persistently deny your request to provide aid, to sooth my upsets, or to supportively criticize, in order to reason with my facility.  My strength unveiled with my submission.  The fortitude necessary to forge the iron, strong enough to withstand a blow, however vulnerable to the fire.  You, my weakness.  You, my fire.  I burn in your presence. I melt for your power.

I need not do what you can do to feel equal.  I need not do it better.  I need only to provide to you the soul of a woman who has devoted her life to complementing you.  Where you are right, I will make up the left; whenever you grow far, I will pull you near.  If you shall find yourself sinking, I shall elevate you.  A dance of mutual attendance.  A dance of complementary forces, neither one in need of convincing the other of our position.  Neither one in need of demanding their value as greater.  No need to rehearse for the sake of a convincing performance.  Not a single toe stepped upon.  Complementary.

The fantasies that lurk behind the fortress you’ve built to preserve yourself from the fray, you offer them to me.  The darkest corners where monsters are rumored to thrive; I see beautiful beasts of burden, grown angry carrying the load of societal pressures.  I offer comfort, lure them from the recessed corners and hold them securely.  The beast is aggressive, but I feel no fear of harm.  The beast is physical, but I fear no attack. The beast is rough, but softens at my caress.  I feel the beast tremor as I caress over the scars that form trails along his hide.  I remove his burden.  The beast has no need to conceal any longer.  The beast is in no need of taming, nor training; in no need of demasculinization.

I envelop him in my feminine embrace.  Press upon his flesh the breasts of a woman for pleasure not purpose.  Caress with the touch of delicacy instead of efficiency.  A body with the curves composed of sensuality, not simply capability.  A beautiful cunt to converse the most intimate of conversations, not an agenda.  A woman.  His woman.  His needs are my needs, and my needs are his. In this, we are freed.




Wolfman by Boris Vallejo

Human (adj): Having or showing those positive aspects of nature and character regarded as distinguishing humans from other animals.

I don’t need love to be delicate touches from the tips of your fingers.  Barely grazing the skin, careful not to bruise.  I don’t need palms upon my breast to cup delicately and massage tenderly.  I don’t need soft lips to lightly kiss my flesh; pressing down onto my skin and departing swiftly without a trace.  I don’t need love to physically manifest itself as society sees it – soft sheets and similar thrusts between the parted legs of a lover.  Whispers of “I love you” waltz though the temperate air.  I don’t need love to be lax stroking of hair and fingers tracing the outline of my face.  I don’t want a mindful body atop, aside, behind or below mine.  Instead, I want you to be inside of and connected to your nature, your true identity; your primal animal.

I want love to manifest itself physically the way I understand it; you and me, dedicated to one another through a mutual understanding of our animal natures.  You are my alpha, the dominant leader of which I obey and allow limitless access to my body.  I am your beta, the one you own, protect and cherish vehemently.  I feel your love through your ownership.  I feel your love through you taking what is yours, and in doing so, love takes a different approach.

I’ve always been drawn to the way you sniff my hair and skin.  The way you’d breathe me in.  You’ve always noticed the slightest different between smells from one day to the next; a change in perfume, a change in body chemistry.  I feel literal heat inside me as you bury your face aggressively into my neck without a care for how your rough whiskers left behind red irritation.  Your lack of delicateness, to me, is a direct translation of your need for me.  Love looks different between us, King, doesn’t it?  Love is the bite to the back of my neck or shoulders sending a fiery streak through my able body.  You sink your teeth deeper into my flesh as your cock sinks deeper within my cunt.  The pressure from your heavy sac against the delicate skin of my sex makes me feel at the mercy of your masculinity.  Your purposeful thrusts indicate a deep need for penetration.  Each thrust into me is another symbol of your power and control over my body.  The harder the thrust, the more I feel your need.  The more you restrict my body movements with your hands or under the weight of your mass, the more I feel loved.  I’ve given you permission to take, at will, and you do.  You take with your hands as the pads of your fingers leave bruising upon my hips.  You take with your lips as they wrap around my hardened nipples.  You take with your tongue as you lick my flesh, leaving the mark of your saliva upon my skin.  You take as you allow your body to manipulate mine, with little regard for my comfort. You take as you don’t allow my choice.

I feel love more passionately as your words transform into unintelligible guttural moans or throaty growls.  I feel love the more you fill me up with your cum.  You push yourself inside of me, causing what you’ve previously left behind to seep beyond the seam of where you and I meet.  I feel love the more I am used; I feel love the more I am marked by you. I feel your love as I lay upon the puddle of our fluids that spilled out of me and collected itself upon the sheets.  I feel our love as some of my hair breaks way from the pull of being interlaced between your fingers for leverage.  I feel love as you press my upper body and face down into the ground or upon the bitter frigid wall.  I feel love as I’m bent to the lengths my flexibility can handle.  Feel love as I ache from your repeated entries.   Feel love as you release yourself inside of me, feeling each kick of your cock against the sides of my plush inner flesh.  I feel love the more my sent transforms into the smell of you.  I feel your love as you stay inside of me, allowing the weight of your body to be supported by mine.  You don’t remove yourself from me, instead allowing your body to decide when your cock departs from within me.  As the heaviness of your now flaccid cock falls from my pussy, a stream of our love trickles out from within.  I feel love the more you make a mess of me.  I feel your love the more you are selfish with me, possess me.

I feel your love with the loss of your human.


I often feel this way when the inside of me is at total odds with my professional exterior. I feel bright red and orange; at the center of a massive nebulae attached to my body like albumen to the yolk. I’m quite certain anyone in the near vicinity can feel my heat. I feel like a wolf in sheep’s clothing – I’m teeth smeared in drool, grey fur on end and claws a carving half-moons into the sand. Outwardly I’m assimilating. I’m merely a sheep standing next to my neighbor, fleece blending into one another, alike to a lesser eye. Instinct paws as I have to rein back my tendency to take teeth to the throat, refrain from gloat, and modestly blend into my wooly counterparts. In this moment, I’m desperate to run with the wolves whose creativity claws from within them, ripping a hole through flesh of which their insides spill out. Wolves who play in the darkest of nights, finding solace in shadows over the light.

I am sitting at my desk at work feeling like it might be someone else sitting here, she just looks exactly like me. She’s no imposter though, she’s the real deal. She’s all impulse and passion, flaws and forgoing obligations. I’m feeling depressed and of little motivation. I want less verbal and need more physical expression…  

I am supposed to be working, seeing cases, and instead I’m seeing cages. I’m craving cages. I want to peer from behind the steely bars feeling completely at peace within. Instead of the cage of my body, I want to find my body within a cage. As if being within the cage allows me to free my inner mind, my inner nature, my inner animal.

I should be seeing cases, but I keep seeing laces. Silken Japanese rope laced up the back of my arms or thighs, making misshapen soft mounds of flesh, causing pride over blush. Laced handles of floggers that seduce my nose with the aroma of leather. The slap to my rounded ass from the hands of my Man. I want my thick leather collar fur lined at the neck, cinched tightly to leave room for escaping breath. Lace panties. Lace bralette over full, perky breasts while I press them into your whiskery face. Your pet donning black lace. Interlaced fingers tightening to the crescendo of my orgasm…

I need to be working like the other sheep. Mindlessly reviewing and submitting, checking and proofreading. But, my mind is flooded with imagery. I’m seeing his whiskered jaw line, a briar patch to plush lips. Deep red painted toes wrapped around his inner calves. Deep reddened ass cheeks, beneath a calloused hand. Vascular forearms, digits plunged into tousled hair. The cold metal of his piercing at my flushed, swollen opening. The salty taste of his skin upon my tongue as I lap at his taught testicles.

I should be seeing cases…