Monthly Archives: December 2014

Fair Play

Warning:  This post is likely to offend you.

I have been absent for a while dealing with the holidays and other work related business.  As I can finally take a breath, I find myself moved to write.  I felt like a zombie there for a while, simply going through the motions and obligations that the holidays bestow upon us.  My creativity was stifled under all the responsibility, but I had time to think about things that I wanted to write about.

I attended a bridal shower yesterday for a close friend of mine.  On her invitation it read, “…is registered at Lowe’s, Home Depot and Target.”  I stared down at the invitation in my hands and thought to myself, “Dear God…How long can you expect a marriage to last if your bridal shower invitation resembles that of a housewarming party?”  I refused to get her a gift of anything she requested, and instead got her a giftcard to a local sex shop complemented by a card that read, “The key to a lasting and happy marriage is an open and mutually thrilling sex life, not a new toaster or 5 horsepower blender.”

I am not a believer in marriage; at least, I should say that I am not a believer in marriage in the traditional sense.  I don’t believe that marriage is the answer for lifelong happiness, family security, and a guarantee for monogamy.  I believe that marriage makes little sense, as it essentially forces individuals into patterns of predictability for the survival of family; meanwhile, society perpetuates a notion of lasting passion and fulfillment.  Passion and fulfillment can certainly be achieved while married, but usually that involves a high level of disclosure and intimacy.  Further, I am not a believer in marriage as our present society would see fit.  I believe that now, more than ever, men are emasculated within the bounds of marriage.  We have begun at young ages to emasculate our boys into behavior akin to females.  We are expecting of men to act as women, boys to act as girls:  Sit still, behave, be polite, don’t dominate, don’t show signs of aggression, and do not be overtly sexual.

We women are highly sexual creatures as well, despite what our society would have you believe.  The most dishonest of behaviors I have seen were displayed from women.  Women can easily secure a reliable man, whilst trolling for a thrilling and short lived tryst between the sheets.  He would be none the wiser, as men often assume that women are happy as long as they are provided for.  Another nod for society on that misconception.  Men typically do not feign well, as they are not as accustomed to operating from a place of dual existence: The “me” I will show the world, and the “me” that I relish within my mind.

You may not like reading this, but I don’t believe that people who cheat are necessarily guilty of anything aside from searching, and in some cases, attaining personal happiness.  The quest for personal happiness is our “right” as we are told; however, we are also told the quest should look a certain way.  Now would be an excellent time to stress honesty, but alas, I will not.  I can completely understand an inherent need for secrecy with the amount of responsibility and stress we have placed upon marriage, monogamy and the necessity to deny our inner desires.  Those who often cry “liar” toward the cheater were the ones most likely to cast judgment upon that person’s sexual desires; or withhold sexual gratification for personal motives; close doors for intimacy and communication that should remain open; and abuse their lover for the same qualities they initially found appealing.  Shame…

My opinion, as it applies to most cases of infidelity that I have experienced or been informed of, stem from a place of rejection.  In my experience, the people most guilty of these slights are the “fairer sex”.  Women are conditioned to believe that sexuality should be used as a means for gain and attainment.  Women are usually guilty of using sex for securing a man, reproduction, financial security, or material possessions.  If she happens to secure the responsible man AND a child – Jackpot!  She has significantly upped her chances of being taken care of for the majority of her life, with minimal effort on her part.  I firmly believe that once those essentials are provided for such women, they proceed to quickly pull the plug on devoting excessive energy to sexual fulfillment and emotional intimacy with their spouse.  Women who express their sexuality freely, for a personal fulfillment void of motive, are often labeled unkindly.  Why?  Because our society is threatened by sexual liberation.  Instead of embracing the fact that we are extremely sexual creatures and monogamy is highly unlikely under “normal” conditions; we buy into the farce that civilization has created for control: Religion.  But, that we will safe for another post…

If monogamy is something you choose to strive for – you had better up the ante.  My husband and I strive for monogamy, and my husband is deliciously territorial.  I permit my husband to express his territorial behavior from the recesses of his mind, because I find it primal and utterly delightful.  Blended within the fibers of our commitment to monogamy is the belief that our marriage didn’t guarantee a thing, aside from joint property ownership.  We understand that in order to beat the odds against our inner nature, we must consistently work toward sexual fulfillment and enlightenment.  We understand that communication is essential, expressing our deepest inner desires and working toward making them a reality.  This can be difficult, as you must be willing to listen despite your own personal “notions” of how things should be.  Certainly, you do not have to agree to fulfill your partner’s every whim; however, I also believe that you cannot expect to have monogamy from that person if their desire is strong.  I don’t believe this should be troubling, instead, I think it should be viewed as freeing.  Do your best and the rest will fall into place as it will.  As I’ve argued before, the more we repress the animal, the more the animal will rise within us.  To convince yourself of anything different is to ignore your evolutionary past.

I feel cheating was justified in the vast majority of situations.  Sure someone gets hurt and it can have lasting effects upon families and such.  As a collective society, we have built unrealistic expectations upon the human, and thus, marriage.  These expectations have long acted as a catalyst for crying victim and mental instability by the person being cheated on.  Aligning your expectations with these societal presumptions is setting yourself up for failure, and will neglect to serve you well, aside from an excuse for your own negligence.  You cannot expect monogamy; instead, you must cherish it within your relationship and work toward maintaining it.  That’s simply the best you can do.

I am so sick of hearing people speak of monogamy as if a guaranteed “right” in their relationships.  You can hope for it, encourage it, and cultivate the best environment possible to maintain it; however, if you don’t continuously strive to maintain it, you should not be surprised if the practice of “monogamy” fails you.  Believing monogamy is in our human nature was your first mistake; believing you are entitled to it simply because you are married or in a committed relationship is your second mistake.

If a person declines to acknowledge their own personal responsibility to cultivating an environment encouraging of monogamy, then I believe they deserve to be cheated on.  I believe that entitlement encourages laziness; the same expression can be applied toward marriage.  A person who believes that marriage guarantees them monogamy is a dangerous partner in life.  It is highly likely that their entitlement will lead to a laziness that will not only stifle your sexuality, but devour your spirit and crush your individuality.  Too often, we expect promises to last a lifetime even as we fail to maintain the environment for which those original promises were made.  I believe cheating is a right in any relationship where a person feels entitled to your loyalty without maintaining their end of the agreement.  Do I feel that you should leave the relationship entirely?  Sure, that is probably a good idea.  However, as a society we have complicated relationships (especially marriages) to aid in trapping people in lifelong commitments.  We have worked for centuries to cultivate these domestic messes and are often victims of our own misplaced assumptions and financial entanglements imposed upon our marriages.  That is our fault and failure as a society.  Blaming a person who cheated and failing to acknowledge how you may have encouraged the “discretion” is your fault.  If you are unreasonable enough to believe in monogamy as a guarantee at all costs, then you deserve to be cheated on for your laziness and unrealistic expectations.

Alas, as I watched roughly 20 women “oooh and ahhhh” at blenders, pots and pans, and a Keurig 2.0, I quietly hoped that my friend would soon realize that her perception of “happily ever after” is already skewed.  I hope that she will encourage open communication between she and her spouse, release her expectations, and begin to appreciate him on a “human” level.  I know she won’t, and I can’t help but surmise that I will hold her hand in the not too distant future as she cries on my shoulder repeating, “He promised me forever…”  I’ll remember how much importance was placed upon the house and not the man.  I’ll remember how her expectations aligned so naively with societal expectations.  I’ll remember how I wrote her a card that said, “I refuse to gift you a household appliance for your bridal shower, and instead, encourage you to tend to your sexual relationship.”

And I’ll know without her ever needing to say that instead of giving her husband unlimited and unrestricted access to her “cake”, she decided to bake one instead.


Greetings!

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A lovely gift to add to my collection…

It’s a shame that it also comes with this to add to His collection…

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I absolutely hate this paddle.  I am quite fond of “thuddy” hard hits, not “slappy” sharp cracks. My Dom/Husband can grow tired of my attitude; admittedly, I use my wit and intellegence to push his buttons sometimes…Ah, yes…I can be a SAM. But, sometimes I just enjoy being an asshole and hoping to get a pleasurable punishment for it…

He was on to my tricks! I’ll avoid a slap from this device no matter my “playful” asshole urges.

I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and feeling inspired again! Have a lovely weekend, you beautiful Sirs and subs out there…oh, and those of you who are simply curious too, you deviants 😉


For Shits and Giggles…

I love that expression, lol.  I decided to post an old post from a blog I operated years ago.  I thought it would serve the purpose of entertainment, and as I previously stated, I am longing to assume my grip on my creativity.  Enjoy…

Vagina Mine 

It was a morning like any other for Winston T Grape. He spent it hanging out with friends and having a nice, relaxing day, but when the evening rolled around, Winston was called into work. Winston worked a dangerous job at the enamel mines in the north. Frequent flooding and cave-ins made it so few of Winston’s friends ever returned. Winston donned his plum colored uniform, and ventured out the door for what could be the last time.

Winston was ready for his regular work, but he found that he was redirected to the mine in the south where he would be working alone. This gave Winston pause. Not much was known of the mine in the south and certainly, none of Winston’s friends had ever been there to the best of his knowledge, but Winston was no raisin. No-sir-ee! Winston was a Grape, just like his father before him, and his father before him.

When Winston arrived at the mouth of the cavern, he noticed some similarities in humidity and appearance, but the southern mine was smaller and this was going to be a tight fit. Winston peered cautiously inside; the walls were slippery. Suddenly, as if some unseen forced nudged Winston from behind, Winston found himself tumbling into the depths of the cavern.

When Winston came to, he was somewhere in the middle of the mine. He took a look around and realized he was alone and the situation was dire. Furthermore, there was no enamel to be mined here! What the hell was he supposed to be mining? Fortunately the sounds of a rescue team were mobilizing outside. Winston could see as the rescue workers attempted their first rescue, but alas, the rope was only long enough to reach Winston, and the rescue worker’s attempts to grab Winston only pushed him further into the cave. The rescue worker had to withdraw. Suddenly, there was a cave-in of sorts. The walls moved slightly, and it felt as though Winston were moving back toward the opening of the cave, but when the cave-in stopped, Winston sank back into the depths. A flood of water that originated closer to the opening of the cave washed directly out and didn’t help Winston at all. These were dark times indeed!

What Winston didn’t know is that a rescue team with a longer rope was being formed outside. This rescue team was highly specialized and good at what they do, but this was not their usual mission. The specialized rescue team was sent out, and they entered the mine. With nary a difficulty they grabbed Winston and pulled him out of the mine. That took so little time, they rescue team was actually upset that they were called in for so trivial a rescue, and they just tossed Winston onto the midland plains just north of the mine.

Winston was lost. All he knew at this point was work and he started roaming toward the mines in the north. He was tired, and he was wet. Every step exuded moisture, and when Winston arrived between the bountiful twin peaks he turned and looked at the glistening trail that had been left in his wake. He was immediately picked up and put to work in the enamel mines and never returned again.

The moral of the story:

Don’t put a grape in your vagina.


We Shall See…

Another casual, light-hearted update for all you lovelies…

On top of an exceedingly demanding professional life, I am working on a significantly long paper  for a class.  I was *cough, cough* “fortunate” to have an uber-feminist professor in this class, which has resulted in some interesting debates between she and I, as well as some of my other classmates.  I am not anti-feminist, per se, in the sense that I believe equal treatment for equal work.  However, I do believe that men are significantly misrepresented within our present society by a virtual pendulum swing toward feminism in the name of emasculating men.  Ultimately, I believe heavily in evolutionary psychology and cognitive development as it applies to biology.  I believe men are men and women are women for reasons primarily dictated by biology; I believe hormones, physiology, and thus, brain development coincide with our responses toward the environment.  I do believe culture plays a heavy influence as well, akin to adding standards of performance to a basic blank slate:  As if taking a large boulder and carving it into a beautiful sculpture; the beautiful sculpture may represent something upon it’s surface, but at it’s core the subject is simply rock.  Culture carves.

Anyway, my professor has assigned readings for this particular class that I find are bias against men.  If I were a man in this class, I would feel as though I was a pig on a spit, rotating and roasting before a crowd of chanting, spear wielding women.  They would extend their fists vehemently into the air, exposing the hairy pits of rebellion.  They would dance around the rotisserie man with dangling breasts of stretched tissue and “beaver bump” one another in the name of “fem-araderie”.  Roast that man for all his oppression – Men and their penises are to blame for all our problems in the world….

I cannot stand this course.  Such potential in the material to be squandered away by personal bias.  Anyway, I digress…

After numerous debates, I have decided to compose my final paper on cultural dynamics as it effects aspects of BDSM culture and alternative relationships.  Ah, yes.  Imagine the joy I will have once I receive a poor grade in this course due to the fact that I will discuss being a female sub to my male Dominant.  My professor is notorious for grading according to personal opinion and perspective.  Undoubtedly, my close-minded professor will know little about the lifestyle, as she will see it as another way culture oppresses women.  To expose that fallacy, I plan to discuss the role of dominance and submission, as it pertains to the individual and not the gender of the person.  Ultimately, I plan to show the BDSM culture as a place where gender is an illusion; a place where a person is accepted as an “individual” and not as culture would define him/her or his/her chromosomal make-up.  She likely has read Fifty Shades of Grey and was repulsed by that pathetic depiction of the community – even though she likely masturbated to images of being dominated by a man.  Typical.  I’m going to blow the top off of this bitch, and I am looking forward to it.

Again, I can’t wait to write a substantial piece for pleasure, for a change.  Presently, my language has been reduced to legalities and formalities, and I am feeling creatively handicapped.

I also was nominated for the “Bad Girl Blogger Award” from the lovely Whispering Girl, which has brought me great joy!  I am incredibly flattered.  Thank you for such lovely words of recognition.  I am chomping at the bit to assume my more creative pursuits, I just have to get through the next week or two.


Absent

My loyal lovers…I wanted to write a quick note to acknowledge my absence and let you know I have not dropped off of the blog (in case you may have been wondering). My professional life has grown quite demanding as of late.  I also had family in town, and have been feverously working on getting my house to its typical state of beauty. 

Once I clear up some cases, I will be returning to my normal routine. I plan on doing some new research that will inspire me, I’m certain. 

I have been keeping up with all you lovelies through my email subscriptions, paying extra special attention to my certain favorite inspired bloggers out there.  I hope all of you are having lots of delicious sex; kicked up a notch with a touch of dominance, submission, and overall LOVE. 

-M