I realized today that my commitment to being submissive to my delicious D/Husband holds more weight than my commitment to being “married”. Admittedly, I have not been a fan of marriage and see very little point in it. The only marriage I have ever given a shit about is the one I currently share with my D/Husband; before that, I left a slew of groveling men in my wake. If I tell you I’m in love with someone else, you ask me to marry you anyway, and I end up leaving you because I am ultimately unhappy…Well, you had it coming as far as I’m concerned. If I had a dollar for every time a man said, “I thought you would change…” I wouldn’t be sitting here pretending to work at a job that I currently dislike with “Holy Moley (see post ‘Fuck You’)” sitting across from me accompanied by her Disney character figurines.
“He didn’t change me; with his chains, he freed me”
My previous divorces were no different than childhood breakups, just a little more financially complicated. I believe our society has turned marriage into a joke. Marriage is a drug laced with false sense of security; people smoke it up and conjure delusions of a monogamous “forever”, escaping into a naïve alternate nirvana, and meanwhile paying no attention to their present reality. In the real world, the man has not had a blowjob in over a month because she’s completely preoccupied with asserting her feminism and watching reality t.v shows. He’s miserable, but she feel secure with her “Prince Charming” in her delusional matrimonial haze; because he said “I do”, and therefore, relinquishing his soul and sexual liberation – FOREVER. I can hear them whining in my head now, “But…He promised me forever…”
Stop with this nonsense.
My commitment of submission to my D/Husband, however: Solidified beyond anything that I have ever experienced nor been capable of. I have never been so certain of my role, my place in a partnership, or more present in my daily life than while in service to Him. There is a distinctive difference between my choice to submit to Him and aligning with societal norms by getting married. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that my marriage means nothing to me – that’s not the case. I’m simply stating that it was shocking how easily and emphatically I identify with my rules and regulations as my D/Husband’s sub, and rebelled against anything associated with marital “rules and regulations”.
The ring did not rein me in; but, His reign does.