Admittedly, I don’t have ample experience with surrender. I have not considered my current state of servitude to my Beloved as a choice that I made; rather, a feeling so natural that operating against it violated the fiber of my being; a feeling so organic that any opposition travels the extent of my nerves, paralyzing them, rendering them numb to the feeling of being truly “alive”.
I admire the delicate in people, the soft submission of their love. I find beauty in their naked souls, laying there for the taking, laying there in vulnerable exposure. My surrender doesn’t resemble this. I truly don’t feel there is a delicate love within me. My love is feverish and pursued with equal abandon.
My surrender resembles that of a battered warrior. The sharpened arrow approaching my Love, and I place myself before it. The sharpened tongues of those composing daggers to slice Him, ignites a warrior within me to gallant, nothing could stand barrier between me and their commencing regrets. In my mind, I stand to defend everything that deems a threat to our peace, my Beloved. I stand stoic at His back, glancing over His shoulder with the perseverance of an immortal. Poised powerful upon the back of the most valiant of steeds, he is empowered by your dominance. His steady hooves heavy with purpose at your requests. I bestow before you another meek challenger, my Love. I bring before you another hapless suitor, my Love. Dare they test my loyalty to my God, my Love. Rather die than be found tyrannical before Him. Rather die than permit someone to see what is His for owning. Rather die than render myself helpless at defending His temple, His kingdom, His pride. He could call me out like a hound on a fox, a ravenous beast to the prey. He needs me not for protection, my capable King, but I remain. I remain his Valkyrie Queen.
My body gives passionately under the press of his palms. I appear tattered leather transforming into lace at the touch of His fingertips. Where the sharped edged thorn emerges a soft petal. The impenetrable fortress of my body grants Him permissible, my Beloved. I close no door to Him. I leave no space reserved, no place hidden. The cold metal of my armor melts under at the ignition of my desires, His eyes upon my body. The raised welding of my seams, pull apart as effortlessly as sand is carried away in an ebbed wave. My shield lay at my side, rendered useless in His presence, readily accessible for war. In His grace I am enveloped in a veil of security. I drop to my knees in appreciation of His strength, His presence. I am ever low but elevated. I am humbled and vindicated. In serving you I am free. My surrender belongs to you, my King. I relinquish myself to you, my chosen divinity.