Own Your Sex

intimate young couple during foreplay in bed

I am going to ask you to do a little experiment for me: Next time you go to the grocery store, take a good look around.  Be aware.  You won’t have to look too hard.  Let’s say you stroll down isle 9 to grab yourself some coffee and you aren’t alone.  She shares the isle with you; shoulder length, wet to dry styled hair, pulled up into a pony tail, oversized shirt draped over a pair of wilting tits, sweat pants casually tucked into the crack of her ass down to flip-flops on un-pedicured feet.  You glance at her face and she wears a sad expression.  She wears the expression of a woman who is suffering from cramps, constipation and fatigue.  This woman couldn’t possibly be married, could she?  Who would want to fuck that on a nightly basis?  Take a gander at her ring finger and you’ll see a glistening diamond donned upon it.  Shocked?  Or maybe he shares the isle with you.  He is wearing a sports team t-shirt and jorts (jean shorts).  His cheeks look at if he’s storing up for winter with a belly to match.  You observe an awry back hair or twenty sprouting from the back of his shirt. You’re sure he isn’t getting laid and he is a minute man, without a doubt.

Now, picture that same woman enthralled in a glorious sex session with her man.  Picture her tearing at the sheets, tossing her hair, biting her pillow and shoving that man deeper inside her.  Picture that woman (as she is currently carrying herself) in a pair of heels and black lingerie.  Have I made you want to puke yet?  I feel you.  Let’s say that this particular woman isn’t in good shape, because this type of woman often isn’t.  Is that the reason you cannot picture her rocking some fish nets with stilettos?  Probably not.  Is it possible that you cannot imagine her enjoying her sex life because she clearly doesn’t own her vagina?  BINGO.

It’s no different for a man.  A man must own his dick.  The difference is men tend to own their dick on a daily basis.  I personally believe they are more connected to it because they have to touch it more frequently.  They are brought up to own the fact that they are boys, that they stand up to pee and they are lady-killers.  Think about the cutest boy you’ve seen lately and think about how many people have said to him, “Ooooooh!  You are going to be popular with the ladies when you grow up, handsome!”  Now, that kid usually grows up to be a man who racks up a fair number of notches on his bedpost.  Then he gets married.  His wife becomes the lady written about above, and he becomes a blob of minimal testosterone.  He looks around at the beauties of the world and fantasizes about days gone by.  He imagines a time when he’d thrust between the thighs of a woman like that blonde.  He remembers how he used to make Jessica scream, Ashley claw his back, and Sarah orgasm six times.  Ah, but now…Now he is overweight, his breasts could fit into a training bra and his penis is lost in a forest of overgrown pubic hair.  He’s lost it.

So, do we blame this upon marriage?  Can blame monogamy?  Or would it be more appropriate to say that monogamy often leads to laziness?  Wouldn’t it be more fitting to say that once a person feels that they are pulled off the shelf that they no longer need to be on display?  Shame. We should never, under no circumstance (especially marriage), forget to own our sex!  Monogamy is a privilege that needs to be paid respect.  We should never treat monogamy as a right.  And you should never forget those days of hot, sweaty, animalistic sex.  You need to recreate them.  You need to pull yourself out of an insecure rut.  You need to own your vagina.  You need to own that cock.

Let’s start with the ladies, shall we.  I don’t give a shit if your husband says you look best when you don’t have any make-up on.  I don’t care if he says that your ass looks great in those sweat pants.  I couldn’t care less if he says you look better since you’ve put on 15lbs.  You shouldn’t allow these generous complements become rules for conduct.  Be honest, what do you feel when you look into the mirror.  Do you even look in the mirror?  Without being overly critical of yourself (this is counter productive), what can you do in an instant to improve how you feel, how you present yourself to the public, and most important; what can you do to amass adoration and make insecure women jealous?  Simple.  Orgasm.  If your significant other cannot be found then you need to get busy tending to yourself.  An orgasm isn’t something that is short lived.  You carry an orgasm with you throughout the day, a glow of happiness radiates from you. Forget the apple – “An orgasm a day keeps the frump away”.

Take pride in yourself!  Pull that hair down from the pony tail.  Take care of your hair and skin, put on make up, perfume and a pair of heels.  Wear figure flattering clothing.  Own the fact that you were born with a vagina, and therefore, amass more power than any other creature upon the planet.  Save me the excuse of kids, ladies.  I know a few woman with more than one kid who take the 45 minutes to present themselves beautifully – you’re excuses are your reasons for failure.  You fail an excuse yourself for it and that is shameful.  You are simply lazy and continue to lie to yourself daily.  Stop that.  Don’t look to your man for his approval.  Look for the approval of other men and women.  If he is suddenly insecure and jealous (unless already supremely confident), then you know you are doing something right.  A man should be proud to wear you upon his arm.  He should be concerned that another man may favor your attention.  He should be wary that you leave the house looking like you care to present your beauty.  If you need to kind of push yourself at first, do it.  Touch yourself more often.  Look at yourself in the mirror after you put in some effort and complement yourself.  Feed your sexuality and notice the changes that come about you.

Men, you are a little easier to address.  Look at your dick and remember your past.  Remember the hottest sex you’ve ever had.  Remember the expression on her face.  Remember that time when you were sweat drenched, balls deep and driving it home.  Relive that tonight.  Relive that tomorrow.  Live that daily.  Be the man who takes control of who he is.  Don’t be the man who waits for permission from his woman.  Do not be the man that believes settling down means having to hide that you admire other woman.  Fight from falling prey to your woman’s insecurities and instead, comfort and encourage her to be a better woman.  Don’t give in.  You are of an evolved brain, but you are still animal.  Monogamy is something that is not part of your nature, but part of your evolutionary mind.  You own monogamy, but you need to own your animal side.  Women have the despicable ability to drain the testosterone out of a man.  Since many of you guys are with insecure women; it’s safe to say that your woman is working against you.  An insecure woman wants you to blend in with your fat, overgrown hair, limp dick and un-manicured appearance because she doesn’t want to lose you.  A secure woman knows you’ll never find better, but she’s not willing to test the issue either.  Take care of yourself and get picked up on.  Flirt and find your manhood.  You’ve still got it.  Keep these things to yourself, especially if you know your significant other cannot handle it.  Bring the energy home and take it out on your woman.  When she asks where all this newfound energy comes from say, “I’ve realized that as a woman you have needs that I need to meet.  I want you to know how much I appreciate you”.  Sounds lame, but a woman suffering from a lack of confidence will eat this up!  If you have a woman who doesn’t want you to masturbate or look at porn, then sneak.  Fact is (within reason) these are normal and healthy acts.  These are acts you’d probably do less of if you had a satisfying and active sex life.  Participating in these acts will keep your testosterone production at a healthy level and will keep your mind clear.  Do not allow a woman’s insecurity drive you from your manhood.  You are not cheating.  You are not doing anything wrong.  If you have a woman who doesn’t understand this, then cover your tracks and do what you have to do.  I encourage you to open up and be honest, but that can prove very difficult with some women.  Whatever you do, don’t allow anything in this world separate you from your package.  Owning your cock is a justice to the rest of the world.

Things counterproductive to owning your sexuality are going to come up within your life. Jobs, kids, finances and health are just a few that can hinder embracing your sexuality.  Try to push through these times.  Try your best to avoid becoming that man or woman in isle 9.  Confidence and sexual prowess can only increase the connection, attraction and intimacy within your relationship.  If you are not attached, then you should be putting your best food forward toward sexual gratification.  Vince Lombardi states, “Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.”  Vince Lombardi was not a loser.  Don’t allow your vagina or penis to become one.
Have fun tonight!

About FervidM

A Sensual Side of BDSM - The romance of servitude, submission, pleasure and pain. View all posts by FervidM

4 responses to “Own Your Sex

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